No What Allowed?

So Wyatt got his beloved "Perry" hat from Santa. It is a kid sized fedora, like the hat that the secret agent "Perry the Platypus" wears on the cartoon "Phineas and Ferb."

He has worn it everywhere since receiving it Christmas morning. He wanted to wear it to the inflatable playground. I was concerned about him jumping around with it on.

About 20 minutes after arriving he came over to me with a concerned look and asked me to come read something for him.

He was studying the rules that were posted on the side and wanted to know what one particular image meant.

It was a picture of a nose, with a ring through it. It read, "No facial jewelry." I explained what that meant.

He was visibly relieved. He said, "Good, I was afraid it said 'no hats."

It was so sweet I nearly cried.

What Zane Said

So Christmas morning Zane is in his high chair ready for breakfast.

He looks right at me and says, "Mom."

Best gift of the day.

Cookie Thief

So we've laid out the cookies and milk for Santa and are preparing for bed.

We take a minute to say farewell to the elf on the shelf.

When we turn back around we see Colt with chocolate all over his mouth, double fisting a couple of cookies.

Wyatt gasps and grabs the plate, "Colton, you have to leave some for Santa!"

Don't Mess With Jesus

So as many of you know we have been doing "Elf on the Shelf." The elf lives at the house during the month before Christmas and reports on behavior to Santa.

Wyatt has become a bit of a tattle tale.

Yesterday I heard him having a serious conversation with the elf. Apparently Colt had been a little rough with a nativity figurine.

Wyatt says, "Elfy, Colty was mean to baby Jesus."

I'm thinking that's a pretty serious offense around Christmas. Perhaps its better to mess with the Shepherds.

Blasphemy

So this morning Colt asks for some "funny peanut butter" on his toast.

"Funny peanut butter?" I ask.

He goes to the pantry and retrieves the Nutella.

I gasp. How could anyone refer to the richest, creamiest, most chocolaty of all breakfast goodness...as funny peanut butter. Clearly I'm neglecting his culinary training.

The Menace

If I didn't write this down I would never believe that one boy could cause so much damage in one day.

Today Colt:

-Sprayed the kitchen with yogurt

-Coated the nursery with a full tube of diaper rash cream

- Woke Zane up 20 minutes into his nap by hopping in his crib, jumping up and down and removing all the toys that were mounted to the sides.

-Ripped down the Christmas decorations on the front porch and shattered a decorative Santa's glasses.

-Stomped three glass ornaments into tiny bits and scattered them on the front steps

-Broke the leaf blower by smashing it with a table leg

-Sprayed an entire can of self tanner in his bedroom. (Sadly I won't know the extent of the damage until 2 to 4 hours from now when it develops its "healthy, bronzed glow")

-Ripped all the pages out of Wyatt's favorite book

Did I mention the flailing on the floor temper tantrums?

On the bright side, he cleaned his plate at supper and volunteered to brush his teeth, twice.

A Job Well Done

So I finally got around to putting the Christmas decorations up outside.

Wyatt and Colt spend the whole time playing in the yard.

When I finish Wyatt comes up behind me and gives he a pat on the back.

He says, "I really appreciate your work here, Mom."

Laughin' His Pants Off

So Wyatt is starting to really appreciate comedy.

I often hear him laughing hysterically when he is watching cartoons.

The other day Joe and I came into the TV room to find him giggling, wearing nothing but a shirt, socks and a smile.

Joe says, "Where are your pants?"

"I was laughing so hard that I got them wet."

"You wet your pants?"

"No, I was laughing and so I spilled my drink all over them."

Apparently he literally laughed his pants off.

The Finger

So I take the three boys to the pediatrician for sinus/ear infections.

Never mind that they all having snotty noses, hacking coughs and watery eyes...

All Wyatt is worried about is the wart that has developed on his middle finger.

"How did it get there?" he wants to know. "Can the doctor make it go away?"

"Sure, we'll ask the doctor," I say. "After he helps us with our colds."

While we wait in the exam room, we practice the wart conversation and how Wyatt will use big kid words to explain the problem.

But when the doctor walks in Wyatt chooses non-verbal communication, instead simply holding up the warted finger.

It caught the doctor off guard.

Red faced I say, "He has a wart he'd like you to look at."

So much for all the practice

The Fashion Consultant

So while Wyatt is at preschool and I just have two boys with me, I think, "I wonder if I am brave enough to try clothes shopping."

We run into Kohls and I throw a couple of tops into my cart.

I take the guys into the dressing room with me and try on a few things.

I put on a blue sweater set and Colt starts clapping. He smiles and says, "Oooooh, Mommy pretty!"

Needless to say, I bought it.

Halloween Dismembering

So Wyatt runs to me in dismay.

"Mommy, Mommy," he says, "The box of Halloween cookies fell off the counter and they are all broken."

"It's okay," I say, "They will still taste the same."

"Yeah," he says. "But they won't have any faces or body parts."

Bummer.

Bath time Buddy

So the boys LOVE their bath time toys.

Two of the regulars are "Daddy Duck" and "Mommy Penguin."

Tonight they added a new friend, "Pa Pig."

He is "dirty and naughty."

(Not sure if this is a reflection on the person he is named after)

Suppertime Sexist?

So I made the boys grilled cheese sandwiches for supper.

Wyatt asks for seconds. He says it with a mouthful of food so it comes out kind of garbled, like "I want another girled cheese."

Colt turns to me in disgust and says, "I want a BOY cheese."

Daddy's Bear

So Daddy is back for the weekend.

Colt brings one of his favorite bears over to Joe.

He says, "This bear is not crying. His daddy is home."

Ahoy, Ahem....

So....bits and pieces of the pirate costumes have begun to arrive in the mail via ebay.

We have been wearing the pirate hats in the yard a good bit this week.

I think Wyatt misheard what the pirates on TV have been saying, because he has been running around with stick in hand yelling, "Ahoy, ladies."

Accident, may not. Today my pirate boots arrived and Colt insisted on wearing them. Perhaps it is, "Ahoy, ladies" after all.

Ahoy Mateys

So Wyatt has chosen the family Halloween costumes for 2011...insert drum roll...Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

He will be Jake, of course. Colt will be Cubby. Mommy will be Izzy, because she is the only girl. Baby will be the bird.

"Who will Daddy be?" I ask. "Captain Hook!" he says.

Spidey Sense

So apparently Spiderman gets frustrated.

Wyatt has worn his new costume since the moment it arrived in the mail from Uncle Jeff.

He even insisted we go buy Spidey gloves today.

The only drawback, the mask. He gets tired of it after a while.

Tonight he said, "This face is driving me crazy. It is really getting on my nerves."

We hear ya oh webbed one.

A Very Cheesy Birthday

So the biggest boy is four.

I asked him at bedtime what his favorite things were about his birthday.

After serious consideration he said, "My cakes. My new Diego room. My Chuck E. Cheese party."

It was a really good day.

On The Eve of the Cheese

So Wyatt's big Chuck E. Cheese's birthday party is tomorrow.

He is so excited he is ready to burst.

As many of you know this would not have been Mommy's choice of locations, and even Wyatt has never been there before. But has he has told me many times, "Mommy, the TV tells me it is fun."

I've been asking him this week which classmates will be attending. He told me yesterday, "They all want to come, but they have to ask their Mommies."

Except Brody. "Why isn't Brody coming?" I ask.

Wyatt very seriously answers, "He is afraid of the mouse."

Up Where?

So every time Colt sees an airplane in the sky he says, "Daddy up there," because Daddy is the only frequent flier he knows.

He saw a plane today and pointed and uttered the usual phrase.

I said, "No, Daddy only takes the airplane to Los Angeles. He drives Daddy's car when he goes to Atlanta."

He is quiet for a second. Atlanta is clearly not a word he is familiar with.

"Up on a ladder?" he says. "Daddy come down and see me."

Ummm, details please.

So Wyatt heads back to school last week for 3K.

He is a little nervous. He attaches to the back of my legs like velcro until he sees Kayce, a friend from his class last year.

At the end of the day his teacher tells me he was a little quiet, but he did good.

In the car we ask him, "What did you do in school?"

He says, "I made a funny hat."

Later he adds one more detail. "I raised my hand."

"Why?" I ask. "Were you answering a question, or volunteering for a job?"

"I just raised my hand," he said.

Ok, then.

Aunt Who?

So we discovered during a recent visit with family that a certain Aunt has a very difficult name to say.

Colt repeatedly asked where Penguin was.

Penguin?

"Aunt Engwin," he says.

Ahhh, Aunt Ingrid. He's still talking about he days after coming home!

Getting His Wings

So we are on airplane headed for Detroit.

Wyatt has the window seat.

After the captain turns off the "fasten seatbelt" sign Wyatt gets up on his knees to look out.

He turns to me with amazement and says, "Mommy we are above the clouds."

He sits back down and says with satisfaction, "We really are flying!"

(Yes, the picture is from the airport bus, but you get the point!)

The Disciplinarian

So we are at Yogurt Mountain for our weekly Saturday ice cream. GG and Pa joined us for the fun and the calories.

So midway through his birthday cake yogurt topped with sprinkles, mini m&ms, sour nerds and fruity pebbles Wyatt announces that he needs to use the potty.

I take him.

When we come back Colt is standing on his chair shaking his finger at GG. He tells us that she has been "naughty." He says, "GG in time out. Five minutes!"

What has GG done, we ask. "GG eat Mommy ice cream. GG eat Wyatt ice cream."

Apparently while we were away, GG has decided to sample everyone else's treat.

In light of this, I think Colt's punishment was light.

(FYI, GG thought Wyatt's was best!) (Mine was Snickerdoodle cookie with a dash of Rocky Road, cheesecake pieces and crushed Snickers bars.)

Giant Leap For Boykind

So after two months of refusing to even try the diving board...Wyatt has conquered the deep end of the pool!

He followed a bigger boy who had befriended him off the board. And there was no turning back!

He went off the board dozens more times.

We asked Colt if he wanted to go too. He said, "No, me 'cared."

Mr. Responsibility

So it's Saturday and I decide we need to break the routine and shake things up a bit.

Instead of going home after the gym, having sandwiches for lunch and putting the boys down for a nap...

I say, "Wanna go somewhere fun for lunch?"

"What is it?" Wyatt asks.

"A surprise," I tell him.

We arrive at Yogurt Mountain (a frozen yogurt place where you get to pick your own flavor and top it with fruit, cereal, cookies, candy, etc) and I tell Wyatt, "We're going to have ice cream for lunch!"

He looks at me with dismay and says, "Mommy, that's dessert. I want food."

Leave it to my 3-year-old to be Mr. Responsibility. I decide to get crazy. He keeps me in line.

So we take him to Whole Foods where he insists on a piece of pizza with a whole grain crust and a bottle of water.

Then we go back to Yogurt Mountain.

He samples at least 6 flavors before settling on "cherry limeade" with iced animal crackers, sprinkles and mini M&Ms.

In the end, it was a smashing success.

Pool Shark

So we took the boys to the pool.

One of Wyatt's favorite games is "shark."

He likes it when we put our hands in the shape of a fin, do the Jaws theme song and chase him around the pool, pretending to bite his legs.

He decided to play with Colt. Wyatt would be the shark.

Colt did not enjoy it. He paddled over to us screaming, "Wyatt eat me all gone!"

Wyatt Hampton, DDS

So the boys made their first trip to the dentist today.

From a behavior standpoint it was a smashing success.

From a cavity standpoint...not so much.

But the good news is they loved being there and played "dentist" for the rest of the day with the tools that came home in the goodie bag.

Here is a sample conversation:

Wyatt (aka the dentist) "Hey Colty, I'm the dentist. Open wide."

Colty (aka the patient) "Roar like lion, ahhhhhh"

Wyatt, "Now, here's Mr. Thirsty" (the spit sucker upper tool)

Colt, "Me go dentist. Clean my teeth."

Wyatt, "Let me make sure there are no cavity monsters in there."

New Shades

So I stopped by the eye doctor to pick up some contacts.

At the front desk is a bin of those disposable sunglasses they give you after they dilate your eyes.

On a whim I pick up a couple of pairs for the boys who are always complaining that it is "too bright" or that "the sun is in my eyes."

They adored them. They take them in the car and even wore them to the pool.

Only toddlers can make them cool!

Brush Off

So we've got some friends over for dinner and a movie.

The boys get their bath and come in to say goodnight.

They are freshly shampooed and combed.

My friend Angela says to Wyatt, "You smell good, can I have a hug?"

He walks over and as she reaches for him he pulls back and says, "Just don't touch my hair."

Hide n' Seek

So...it's bath time and I've got two boys undressed and in the tub.

I can't find the third.

I walk around the house yelling, "Colt, Colton, Colty..."

No answer.

Finally as I walk past the toy room I hear a little voice inside saying, "Ready."

I peek in.

"Ready," the voice says again.

Under the balls in the ball pit I find my small boy.

He's playing hide n' seek. He just didn't tell anyone.

Vroom, Vroom

So...Wyatt came up to me in the laundry room and said very seriously, "Mommy, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up."

I said, "You've got plenty of time to figure it out, Baby."

He ponders.

I say, "You could be a scientist like Pa?"

No.

"You could be a writer like Dad."

No.

"You could be a news person like Mommy."

"No, that's a girl's job," he says.

I debate arguing the point. But before I can continue, he makes a proclamation.

"I think I want to be a race car driver," he says.

I tell him I think he'd be good at that, but that race cars go very fast.

He thinks about that and says, "But I would want Mommy there with me."

Always, baby.

Boo Boos

So Colt is sick of being sick.

He threw up all night AGAIN last night.

At breakfast he kept asking for more food and drink. We had to tell him no, he'll need to take it slow until his tummy feels better.

He looks at us and in his questioning tone of voice says, "Tummy feel better?"

"Yes," we say.

He nods, "Put band-aid on it."

Interlude

So...the Hamptons have been sick.

The boys haven't been very funny.

Even if they had been, Wyatt's peeps have been too busy cleaning up yuck to post.

Sorry for the interlude. We hope to have new material soon.

Footwear Folly

So...Colt is our clumsy kid.

His most often used phrase. "Fall down! Me fall down!"

He WILL be the first one we take to the ER.

Usually he's just a dare devil and a clutz.

Today, we blame the shoes. Size 6, 3 inch wedge espadrils, with a peep toe.

That's a sprained ankle waiting to happen.

Udderly Adorable

So...you may not have known, but today is cow appreciation day. At all Chick-fil-A restaurants, if you dress like a cow, you get a free meal.

At lunchtime, the boys and their two best buds put their spots on for some free nuggets and fries.

They've been "mooooing" and laughing uncontrollably all day.

If you want to view the entire album of our bovine adventures:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.235874046440963.74192.100000551081242&l=e86df040c5

Just Because...

...sometimes little brothers need to be just like their big ones.

The Blessing, Part Two

(Preface: Zane is the easiest baby in the world to burp. You don't really have to pound him on the back or shake him or anything, he usually just burps on his own. We praise him for it often.)

So...Wyatt is in the middle of blessing our meal and Zane lets out a loud belch.

Wyatt pauses and wraps up his prayer with, "and Jesus, thank you for Zane, the self-burping baby."

I didn't want to laugh, but had to.

The Moviegoer

So...Wyatt went to his first movie at the theater. We've been building up to this for months!

His biggest concern...would we be buying him popcorn and a soda.

He wore his new "Cars" shirt (with matching shorts). He picked seats in the back, he shrieked and laughed at all the right parts and insisted on holding the jumbo sized popcorn in his lap.

Halfway through the movie, after a refill on both the Coke and the popcorn, he gets out of his seat, climbs into my lap and whispers into my ear, "Mommy, cuddle me."

My biggest kid is still my baby.

The Blessing

So...Wyatt has asked all week to be the one to say grace at suppertime.

He regularly thanks Jesus for "baby Zane" and for "my brother Colty." He is also thankful for his food (we've had fries with the meal all week.)

Tonight, he put in his first prayer request. He said, "Jesus, please help me to stay in my own bed tonight."

Mom and Daddy are praying for the same thing.

In The Closet

So...it's mid afternoon and Wyatt is eager to go to the pool.

"Can I wake up Colty?" he asks.

I send him upstairs. A few minutes later he yells, "He's not in my bed or his bed."

"Did you check Mommy's room, or Zane's room?" I ask.

Silence. "He's not in there."

I'm not really panicked, because the baby gate is up and all of the doors appear to be locked and closed. But I enlist Joe's help.

The three of us are in full on search mode.

Joe and Wyatt find him. He has shut himself inside the baby's closet. The light is on, the door is closed and he is asleep face down on the floor."

That boy never fails to amaze me.